topic: Puke

Michael: Everyone knows that babies throw up suddenly once in a while. A baby doesn't get woozy, lay down for a minute, and then crawl quickly to the toilet with his hand over his mouth, kind of heaving as he goes. It's too difficult to crawl with one hand.

No, a baby looks completely normal and happy--then someone tells you it just puked on your shoulder. Ever pick up a cute little mouse and feel something wet puddling in your hand? That's not as bad as baby puke on the shoulder since you can just drop the mouse or toss it back into its cage.

As warm moisture begins to seep through your shirt, with a queasy smile and with the baby now extended at arms' length, you can only look to hand it off. Mom!

Anne: Moms tend to be better with puke than dads are. I never really minded a little baby's spit up... Sure, I smelled like sour milk for a few months, but it's ok. All-out, projectile, chunky puke doesn't happen too much with the little guys, unless they are really sick. That does stink, pun intended, mostly because they don't feel good and you feel badly because they feel badly.

One of our sons was a champion puker. He could even throw up on command. One time at swimming lessons (he was three) he started "the gag," and I knew what was coming. I told his instructor immediately about his M.O.: If I puke, they will feel sorry for me and I won't have to swim. She was a good friend and let him "do his thing" and then she said to him,"Ya OK buddy? Alright, let's get back to it!" He was so mad that his little plan had been foiled. (Now, consequently, he is a fish in the water!)

At seven years old, he's outgrown the "puke on command" thing, and when he gets that queasy feeling he can actually make it to the toilet all by himself, which is every parent's dream!